The insight to boyfriend and girlfriend relationships has been horrifying. I'm afraid of being asked out again. I could never say yes.
Our best friends, our double date buddies, Nick and Cass have been having relationship troubles also. They're both bringing each other down but while they're together, sometimes it's worth it.
I remember it being like that with Matt. I would get so depressed without him, everything was pointless unless I was seeing him that night. And when I was with him, everything was perfect. Only a few times, he let me down and it wasn't so perfect.
He says now it's too hard for us to be friends with benefits. We should be just friends or just fuck buddies. We couldn't have both feelings and sex.
I said 'just friends would be so hard, and fuck buddies would be no different to what we are now'
He said 'then we're already just fuck buddies... Sorry for falling for you again, but I don't want to get connected to you again. I'm going to get over you, tonight will be the last night you'll see me for awhile. After tonight I don't want anything to do with you until I'm over you.'
I don't want to see him tonight, not as fuck buddies and not as just friends.
I love him more than anything...
I just want him to be mine. My boyfriend.